Every day im getting to know myself a little bit, and i think is very important so i can get through this sort of 20s crisis and hopefully get into my 30s clear minded.
I realized Im really scared of commitment and that Im not even close to lose that slippery feeling.
I discovered that besides all the fears that reign my sould, mind and body Im all about adventure and mistery. The biggest fear i have is to end up sitting behind a desk doing paper work like a robot, married to a nice guy that doesnt like traveling or doing extrange things, being a mother of two beautiful kids that I’ll secretly blame for my incapability of smoking pot on a sunday afternoon while I watch some Harmony Corine’s weird movie.
And I know that in some point I may want all of those, but for now those things are not a bit of what i want for my life. I guess a lot of women can think Im a selfish bitch, and to be honest the real thing with me isnt far from that, coz how I said once to a friend, if you dont look for yourself who’s gonna do it?, I rather concetrate in me so i can be a better person who can really help others.
Im looking forward to be self-reliant.
the girls and alien,
in my eyes.
Recently “stability” has been like the main topic of my thoughts. I think I’m in some sort of 20’s crisis, where all I can think of is how great were my teenage years and how hard life is going to get. Worst part is that I’m only 22, so the crisis may go ‘til I’m 26 or 27 or maybe just become a 30’s crisis, everything is possible.
Thing is that is not longer the time when your parents do all of the important decisions for you or like in other cases is not that time where you could avoid taking decisions and nothing would happen, now is the time to take THE decisions, at least that’s how it goes with me, and to be honest I’d rather no to take any.
Have you ever wished to stop time?, I’m pretty sure 99,8 % of the world’s population did it or is doing it or will do it. Truth is nobody can, truth is while we wish that, time’s still running and leaving us behind.
And then I just get left by others and by myself with this questions:
Why decisions are important for stability?, Do I have stability in my life?, If not, Do I want stability in my life? Am I ready for it?
Funny thing is that i have to decide whether I answer those questions or not.
having fun (: nothing arty or nice….just having fun.
I never write a lot here coz i think no one cares.
Im feeling sad, like deep shit sad, coz id like to help others, id like to help people that i care and that i feel im related to, but i cant, and that makes me feel like a dot in the universe, that makes me realize how helpless we are, how small and stupid we could be.
I dont give a fuck if everything that seems wrong is a fucking lie, i dont give a shit bout it, is just that it breaks my hear to see ppl losing hope, losing faith, it breaks my heart to read, watch and listen that the fucking poles are melting, that some kind of animal is disappearing coz of us.
im frustrated, im fucking frustraded and maybe nobody will care, coz everybody will think my worries are stupid or nonsense, FUCK THEM!